Have you ever felt constant, intense physical pain? I'm talking about the kind of pain that doesn't get any better whether you're sitting, standing, laying down or wriggling around on the floor? You know, the kind of pain that will cause you to grit your teeth and make you want to rip your hair out in chunks?
Last week, I was struck with a medical issue (long story, but I'm fine now) and consequently, intense physical pain was its unfortunate sidekick. And boy, did it have a mighty kick! The pain lasted for several hours, each hour more dreadful than the last. Pain killers didn't seem to take action fast enough, and I tried to sleep, but my mind was too frantic as my nerves and pain sensors were on some kind of "atomic bomb" mode. Nothing seemed to work. I could do absolutely nothing but sit there and cry out. I was utterly helpless and desperate.
Exactly where I needed to be.
As I lay on the bed crying out to God to take the pain, I was hit with a penetrating awareness of my powerlessness and my neediness. God graciously took me a step further by catapulting this thought into a spiritual context. I'm sure many of you can identify with what I'm going say next. You see, sometimes in my life when everything seems to be going well for me, I am tempted to feel that I am in control. A false sense of self-reliance and pride tries to break its way in and numb my "spiritual nerves." If not watchful, these false assurances can lead me to seek God less in prayer and in my communion with Him and ultimately hinder my walk. After all, who needs God when you're on the throne? I know that sounds harsh, but essentially, that's what we are saying: "I can do things on my own. I am in control. I can provide for myself. I can protect myself. I can muster up my own strength to accomplish this thing. I can follow God's commands and bear good fruit on my own. I can..." and on and on. In our pride and idolatry, however subtle this may appear externally, we make ourselves little "gods" and sprinkle our speech with Christianese to cover the sin. And if we happen to find ourselves in this state, sometimes it takes a disaster or misfortune to shake us up and bring us back to reality. But the unmovable truth is that apart from God you can do absolutely nothing (John 15:5). The very air that fills your lungs was given to you by God (and by the way, lest you think your lungs magically work on their own, God sustains their function, too). So, if you can't even breathe without God, then how can you take credit or claim self-sufficiency in anything? I think you get my point.
God certainly made this point clear to me on that painful day. When I began to think about my physical affliction as a spiritually illustrated reality, it was a wonderful reminder of who I am in relation to who God is.
- I am powerless, but God is all-powerful (Psalm 147:5, 89:13).
- I am weak, but God's grace is sufficient and His strength is made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor. 12:9, Isaiah 40:29).
- I am poor and needy, but God delivers me and redeems me (Psalm 72:12-13, 113:7; Matt.5:3).
- I am helpless, but God is my very present help (Psalm 46:1, 121:1-2, 34:17-19).
- I am broken and wounded, but God is my Healer (Psalm 147:3; Job 5:18).
- I am a wretched sinner, but God is my Righteous Savior (Isa. 43:11, Eph. 2:4-9, Acts 4:12).
It seems that God can use just about anything to illustrate a deeper truth about who He is and the truths found in His Word. Oftentimes, He uses the worst of situations as the juiciest opportunities for our sanctification and spiritual growth. (If you don't think so, just read the book of Job, one of the many biblical examples of this). I consider this experience to have been bittersweet. Bitter for the obvious physical suffering, but sweet for God's shepherd-like reminder of his power and grace. May He be glorified in all things.
"(Suffering) strips us of our pride, self-sufficiency, complacency, and our oblivion to the things to come. Eternity is more deeply engraved on the rough palms of God's suffering children"(Horton, In The Face Of God , 176).
"Ease and luxury, such as our affluence brings today, do not make for maturity; hardship and struggle however do" (Packer, A Quest For Godliness , 22).
